AWOL

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ArgusWest
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AWOL

Post by ArgusWest » Sat Sep 03, 2011 9:57 am

18 some odd years ago I was introduced to the fellowships..
Between that introduction and now..
100+ admissions to detox..
4 residential programs.. 6 months, 1 year, 2-90 day..
5.5 years in prison.. Couplea months, a year, 18 months, 6months, etc..
All possesions, 1 BnE..
Lived the street junkie life for almost a decade..
Lost family respect, a wife, a grate career I loved, and most of all, myself..
I did the geographical cure and beat feet 300+ miles away..
Built a decent existance, job, car, grate gal, house, dog...
But then I showed up..
Almost 9 months ago I found myself again eatin outta garbage cans livin on the streets of Providence with a monster dope habit speckled with a cocaine binges..
Homeless, helpless, hopeless..
I was again locked up...
Tiny stay in the scheme of things, 90 days and mandated completion of a residential program..
But I honestly feel that I finally took step 1 when I was locked up..
Admittin that I was an addict/alcoholic, AND my life was unmanageable..
I couldnt live a life using drugs..
I started to meditate, pray if you will, nightly..
I felt that i was startin to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore me to sanity.
I was fucking nuts.. I proved that to myself ova an ova again..
Maybe these AA/NA guys know what they are talkin about..
Now step three was usually the downfall of my program..
My job if you told me about yer spirituality ( god forbid ya called it RELIGION ) was to tear holes in it an tell ya how weak you were for it.
But then I began to see it in a new light.
I had humbled myself enough ( step 2 ) to realize I cant do this alone.
So I began to ask for help, for guidance..
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
My god has no face, no name, jus a feeling.
I ask for help in the mornin, and I thank him at night..
I have been sober for 6months an 25 days as of today.
I goto meetins when I can, I speak when I need to.
My life is good today.
I respect people.
I think before I open my mouth.
I accept things I can do nothin about.
I change the things I can.
The obsession to use/drink has honestly been lifted from me.
Again, life is good...
But Im gettin to the point that I want to continue on this journey..
I believe I can be an even better person by continuing with the steps..
So here is weir I ask the question that started this ramble..
Does ne1 have experience with AWOLS..?
Im in northern NH and interested in joinin one..
Or better yet..
How do I find out where they even are...?

I really only was gonna ask a one sentence question.. :roll:

I shoulda started with " Im a grateful recovering addict/alcoholic.. My name is Rich.. "
Lovin Furthur.... But Phleeze.. BRING BACK THE DAWG!!!!!

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Re: AWOL

Post by danM » Sat Sep 03, 2011 8:41 pm

Cant answer your question Rich but thats 1 hell of a trip you were on. Best of luck to you. You seem to be on a good path.
9/14 Yarn
10/18 Yarn
10/31 Dead& Co
11/1&2 RRE
11/29&30 RRE
12/1 Joan,Jackie,Anders do Dylan
12/20&21 From Good Homes

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Re: AWOL

Post by deadinit » Sat Sep 03, 2011 9:26 pm

Hey Rick....first off I want to say Im glad your still around to tell your story....Ive read positive things and Ive read negative things about it, all on the internet....but I personally dont know nothing about AWOL....but you say you want to go deeper in your program.....couple of questions....do you have a sponser? have you worked the steps yet?
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Re: AWOL

Post by wheelman » Sun Sep 04, 2011 1:40 pm

ArgusWest wrote:18 some odd years ago I was introduced to the fellowships..
Between that introduction and now..
100+ admissions to detox..
4 residential programs.. 6 months, 1 year, 2-90 day..
5.5 years in prison.. Couplea months, a year, 18 months, 6months, etc..
All possesions, 1 BnE..
Lived the street junkie life for almost a decade..
Lost family respect, a wife, a grate career I loved, and most of all, myself..
I did the geographical cure and beat feet 300+ miles away..
Built a decent existance, job, car, grate gal, house, dog...
But then I showed up..
Almost 9 months ago I found myself again eatin outta garbage cans livin on the streets of Providence with a monster dope habit speckled with a cocaine binges..
Homeless, helpless, hopeless..
I was again locked up...
Tiny stay in the scheme of things, 90 days and mandated completion of a residential program..
But I honestly feel that I finally took step 1 when I was locked up..
Admittin that I was an addict/alcoholic, AND my life was unmanageable..
I couldnt live a life using drugs..
I started to meditate, pray if you will, nightly..
I felt that i was startin to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore me to sanity.
I was fucking nuts.. I proved that to myself ova an ova again..
Maybe these AA/NA guys know what they are talkin about..
Now step three was usually the downfall of my program..
My job if you told me about yer spirituality ( god forbid ya called it RELIGION ) was to tear holes in it an tell ya how weak you were for it.
But then I began to see it in a new light.
I had humbled myself enough ( step 2 ) to realize I cant do this alone.
So I began to ask for help, for guidance..
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
My god has no face, no name, jus a feeling.
I ask for help in the mornin, and I thank him at night..
I have been sober for 6months an 25 days as of today.
I goto meetins when I can, I speak when I need to.
My life is good today.
I respect people.
I think before I open my mouth.
I accept things I can do nothin about.
I change the things I can.
The obsession to use/drink has honestly been lifted from me.
Again, life is good...
But Im gettin to the point that I want to continue on this journey..
I believe I can be an even better person by continuing with the steps..
So here is weir I ask the question that started this ramble..
Does ne1 have experience with AWOLS..?
Im in northern NH and interested in joinin one..
Or better yet..
How do I find out where they even are...?

I really only was gonna ask a one sentence question.. :roll:

I shoulda started with " Im a grateful recovering addict/alcoholic.. My name is Rich.. "
YOU're gonna lecture someone on weakness???!!!
ARE YOU FUKIN' KIDDING ME!!
just because they have a different philosophy & they believe something that you dont :?:
Well, they're goin ruin the air we breathe, Lord have mercy
They're gonna ruin us all, by and by
I'm telling all you beware, I don't think they really care, I think they just sit up there,

AND JUST GET HIGH!!!

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ArgusWest
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Re: AWOL

Post by ArgusWest » Sun Sep 04, 2011 9:50 pm

Banned Loser wrote:
ArgusWest wrote:18 some odd years ago I was introduced to the fellowships..
Between that introduction and now..
100+ admissions to detox..
4 residential programs.. 6 months, 1 year, 2-90 day..
5.5 years in prison.. Couplea months, a year, 18 months, 6months, etc..
All possesions, 1 BnE..
Lived the street junkie life for almost a decade..
Lost family respect, a wife, a grate career I loved, and most of all, myself..
I did the geographical cure and beat feet 300+ miles away..
Built a decent existance, job, car, grate gal, house, dog...
But then I showed up..
Almost 9 months ago I found myself again eatin outta garbage cans livin on the streets of Providence with a monster dope habit speckled with a cocaine binges..
Homeless, helpless, hopeless..
I was again locked up...
Tiny stay in the scheme of things, 90 days and mandated completion of a residential program..
But I honestly feel that I finally took step 1 when I was locked up..
Admittin that I was an addict/alcoholic, AND my life was unmanageable..
I couldnt live a life using drugs..
I started to meditate, pray if you will, nightly..
I felt that i was startin to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore me to sanity.
I was fucking nuts.. I proved that to myself ova an ova again..
Maybe these AA/NA guys know what they are talkin about..
Now step three was usually the downfall of my program..
My job if you told me about yer spirituality ( god forbid ya called it RELIGION ) was to tear holes in it an tell ya how weak you were for it.
But then I began to see it in a new light.
I had humbled myself enough ( step 2 ) to realize I cant do this alone.
So I began to ask for help, for guidance..
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
My god has no face, no name, jus a feeling.
I ask for help in the mornin, and I thank him at night..
I have been sober for 6months an 25 days as of today.
I goto meetins when I can, I speak when I need to.
My life is good today.
I respect people.
I think before I open my mouth.
I accept things I can do nothin about.
I change the things I can.
The obsession to use/drink has honestly been lifted from me.
Again, life is good...
But Im gettin to the point that I want to continue on this journey..
I believe I can be an even better person by continuing with the steps..
So here is weir I ask the question that started this ramble..
Does ne1 have experience with AWOLS..?
Im in northern NH and interested in joinin one..
Or better yet..
How do I find out where they even are...?

I really only was gonna ask a one sentence question.. :roll:

I shoulda started with " Im a grateful recovering addict/alcoholic.. My name is Rich.. "
YOU're gonna lecture someone on weakness???!!!
ARE YOU FUKIN' KIDDING ME!!
just because they have a different philosophy & they believe something that you dont :?:
Ok Banned Loser, back down an take a breath.
Notice the WAS in the second highlighted part.
This was before I had the ability to humble myself.
And as far as referring to the admissions as a weakness...
I kinda see it in a different light.
The fact that I never gave up is jus the opposite of weak.
I do thoroughly admit that I am weaker than my addiction.
That I need help to stay clean.
That I am not the almighty....
:-k
Lovin Furthur.... But Phleeze.. BRING BACK THE DAWG!!!!!

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Re: AWOL

Post by danM » Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:37 am

Ive gotten clean w/out AA, so Im not sure what AWOL is. I do know, that you need to do what you have to do to keep from using again. If getting involved with AWOL keeps you clean, more power to ya.
9/14 Yarn
10/18 Yarn
10/31 Dead& Co
11/1&2 RRE
11/29&30 RRE
12/1 Joan,Jackie,Anders do Dylan
12/20&21 From Good Homes

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Re: AWOL

Post by Don McGurrin » Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:44 am

ArgusWest wrote:18 some odd years ago I was introduced to the fellowships..
Between that introduction and now..
100+ admissions to detox..
4 residential programs.. 6 months, 1 year, 2-90 day..
5.5 years in prison.. Couplea months, a year, 18 months, 6months, etc..
All possesions, 1 BnE..
Lived the street junkie life for almost a decade..
Lost family respect, a wife, a grate career I loved, and most of all, myself..
I did the geographical cure and beat feet 300+ miles away..
Built a decent existance, job, car, grate gal, house, dog...
But then I showed up..
Almost 9 months ago I found myself again eatin outta garbage cans livin on the streets of Providence with a monster dope habit speckled with a cocaine binges..
Homeless, helpless, hopeless..
I was again locked up...
Tiny stay in the scheme of things, 90 days and mandated completion of a residential program..
But I honestly feel that I finally took step 1 when I was locked up..
Admittin that I was an addict/alcoholic, AND my life was unmanageable.

I couldnt live a life using drugs..
I started to meditate, pray if you will, nightly..
I felt that i was startin to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore me to sanity.
I was fucking nuts.. I proved that to myself ova an ova again..
Maybe these AA/NA guys know what they are talkin about..
Now step three was usually the downfall of my program..
My job if you told me about yer spirituality ( god forbid ya called it RELIGION ) was to tear holes in it an tell ya how weak you were for it.
But then I began to see it in a new light.
I had humbled myself enough ( step 2 ) to realize I cant do this alone.
So I began to ask for help, for guidance..
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
My god has no face, no name, jus a feeling.
I ask for help in the mornin, and I thank him at night..
I have been sober for 6months an 25 days as of today.
I goto meetins when I can, I speak when I need to.
My life is good today.
I respect people.
I think before I open my mouth.
I accept things I can do nothin about.
I change the things I can.
The obsession to use/drink has honestly been lifted from me.
Again, life is good...
But Im gettin to the point that I want to continue on this journey..
I believe I can be an even better person by continuing with the steps..
So here is weir I ask the question that started this ramble..
Does ne1 have experience with AWOLS..?
Im in northern NH and interested in joinin one..
Or better yet..
How do I find out where they even are...?

I really only was gonna ask a one sentence question.. :roll:

I shoulda started with " Im a grateful recovering addict/alcoholic.. My name is Rich.. "
Admittin that I was an addict/alcoholic, AND my life was unmanageable. That is not Step 1

As far as AWOLS: I never heard of it and have no idea what it is.
http://www.raindanceimages.com

10/14/2021 Billy Strings
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10/16/2021 Billy Strings

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Re: AWOL

Post by ArgusWest » Tue Sep 06, 2011 2:11 pm

Don McGurrin wrote:
ArgusWest wrote:18 some odd years ago........I shoulda started with " Im a grateful recovering addict/alcoholic.. My name is Rich.. "
Admittin that I was an addict/alcoholic, AND my life was unmanageable. That is not Step 1

As far as AWOLS: I never heard of it and have no idea what it is.
1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

I was paraphrasing the step.
Admitting I am an addict/alcoholic - To me means I am admitting my powerlessness ova the drink/drug..
AND my life was unmanageable - well, it was.

:-k

Please enlighten me.
Lovin Furthur.... But Phleeze.. BRING BACK THE DAWG!!!!!

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Re: AWOL

Post by Jason B of RI » Tue Sep 06, 2011 3:40 pm

Best way to find out about joining an AWOL is to attend some AA meetings and ask people before or after the meeting. I would suggest you do not address this issue from the floor during an AA meeting seeing it is not part of the AA program. Hence, you will not find it in a meeting listing book, or on AA announcements.

AWOL stands for "Another Way of Living" or "A Way of Life" and is a structure step group which mainly uses "The Little Red Book" by Anonymous Anonymous which is a contributor for Hazelden Publications. AWOL normally start in Fall (Oct. or Nov.) and runs until Spring or however long it takes to complete all 12 steps as a group. Unlike AA, AWOL has rules which will normally be addressed at the first meeting.

Personally, I have done about 7x AWOLs in my sobriety and they have I have always grown spirituality, and have gotten a deeper understanding of my disease, my recovery and my God.

If you can not find an AWOL in NH, you might want to see if you can find someone in AA who has "had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps" via the Big Book's first 164 pages and see if they will take you through the progress so you have have your own experience.

Take Care and Good Luck.

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Re: AWOL

Post by Don McGurrin » Tue Sep 06, 2011 3:54 pm

ArgusWest wrote:
Don McGurrin wrote:
ArgusWest wrote:18 some odd years ago........I shoulda started with " Im a grateful recovering addict/alcoholic.. My name is Rich.. "
Admittin that I was an addict/alcoholic, AND my life was unmanageable. That is not Step 1

As far as AWOLS: I never heard of it and have no idea what it is.
1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

I was paraphrasing the step.
Admitting I am an addict/alcoholic - To me means I am admitting my powerlessness ova the drink/drug..
AND my life was unmanageable - well, it was.

:-k

Please enlighten me.
They are two different things.
http://www.raindanceimages.com

10/14/2021 Billy Strings
10/15/2021 Billy Strings
10/16/2021 Billy Strings

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Re: AWOL

Post by Don McGurrin » Tue Sep 06, 2011 3:59 pm

Jason B of RI wrote:Best way to find out about joining an AWOL is to attend some AA meetings and ask people before or after the meeting. I would suggest you do not address this issue from the floor during an AA meeting seeing it is not part of the AA program. Hence, you will not find it in a meeting listing book, or on AA announcements.

AWOL stands for "Another Way of Living" or "A Way of Life" and is a structure step group which mainly uses "The Little Red Book" by Anonymous Anonymous which is a contributor for Hazelden Publications. AWOL normally start in Fall (Oct. or Nov.) and runs until Spring or however long it takes to complete all 12 steps as a group. Unlike AA, AWOL has rules which will normally be addressed at the first meeting.

Personally, I have done about 7x AWOLs in my sobriety and they have I have always grown spirituality, and have gotten a deeper understanding of my disease, my recovery and my God.

If you can not find an AWOL in NH, you might want to see if you can find someone in AA who has "had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps" via the Big Book's first 164 pages and see if they will take you through the progress so you have have your own experience.

Take Care and Good Luck.
Is AWOL a regional thing ? I have been sober in AA for over 27 years and never heard of it.
http://www.raindanceimages.com

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Re: AWOL

Post by Jason B of RI » Tue Sep 06, 2011 6:44 pm

I know it is very popular way to do the steps in the Northeast. In Rhode Island, their are about 3-5 different AWOL groups for men which start in October.

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Re: AWOL

Post by Don McGurrin » Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:39 pm

Jason B of RI wrote:I know it is very popular way to do the steps in the Northeast. In Rhode Island, their are about 3-5 different AWOL groups for men which start in October.
I'm in Pa and never heard of it.
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10/15/2021 Billy Strings
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Re: AWOL

Post by Zip » Thu Sep 08, 2011 12:51 pm

Banned Loser wrote:
ArgusWest wrote:18 some odd years ago I was introduced to the fellowships..
Between that introduction and now..
100+ admissions to detox..
4 residential programs.. 6 months, 1 year, 2-90 day..
5.5 years in prison.. Couplea months, a year, 18 months, 6months, etc..
All possesions, 1 BnE..
Lived the street junkie life for almost a decade..
Lost family respect, a wife, a grate career I loved, and most of all, myself..
I did the geographical cure and beat feet 300+ miles away..
Built a decent existance, job, car, grate gal, house, dog...
But then I showed up..
Almost 9 months ago I found myself again eatin outta garbage cans livin on the streets of Providence with a monster dope habit speckled with a cocaine binges..
Homeless, helpless, hopeless..
I was again locked up...
Tiny stay in the scheme of things, 90 days and mandated completion of a residential program..
But I honestly feel that I finally took step 1 when I was locked up..
Admittin that I was an addict/alcoholic, AND my life was unmanageable..
I couldnt live a life using drugs..
I started to meditate, pray if you will, nightly..
I felt that i was startin to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore me to sanity.
I was fucking nuts.. I proved that to myself ova an ova again..
Maybe these AA/NA guys know what they are talkin about..
Now step three was usually the downfall of my program..
My job if you told me about yer spirituality ( god forbid ya called it RELIGION ) was to tear holes in it an tell ya how weak you were for it.
But then I began to see it in a new light.
I had humbled myself enough ( step 2 ) to realize I cant do this alone.
So I began to ask for help, for guidance..
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
My god has no face, no name, jus a feeling.
I ask for help in the mornin, and I thank him at night..
I have been sober for 6months an 25 days as of today.
I goto meetins when I can, I speak when I need to.
My life is good today.
I respect people.
I think before I open my mouth.
I accept things I can do nothin about.
I change the things I can.
The obsession to use/drink has honestly been lifted from me.
Again, life is good...
But Im gettin to the point that I want to continue on this journey..
I believe I can be an even better person by continuing with the steps..
So here is weir I ask the question that started this ramble..
Does ne1 have experience with AWOLS..?
Im in northern NH and interested in joinin one..
Or better yet..
How do I find out where they even are...?

I really only was gonna ask a one sentence question.. :roll:

I shoulda started with " Im a grateful recovering addict/alcoholic.. My name is Rich.. "
YOU're gonna lecture someone on weakness???!!!
ARE YOU FUKIN' KIDDING ME!!
just because they have a different philosophy & they believe something that you dont :?:
Funny you conveniently forgot the line after it.
But then I began to see it in a new light
You could also keep reading before you spout off again.

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Re: AWOL

Post by wheelman » Thu Sep 08, 2011 1:16 pm

I did read that....(that line doesnt matter)
Someone with such a weakness for anything, should call others weak on anything....
maybe you should understand the point, before you spout off anymore...
Well, they're goin ruin the air we breathe, Lord have mercy
They're gonna ruin us all, by and by
I'm telling all you beware, I don't think they really care, I think they just sit up there,

AND JUST GET HIGH!!!

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Re: AWOL

Post by Jason B of RI » Thu Sep 08, 2011 4:43 pm

Thank God it mattered for Bill.

"The door opened and he stood there, fresh-skinned and glowing. There was something about his eyes. He was inexplicably different. What had happened? I pushed a drink across the table. He refused it. Disappointed but curious, I wondered what had got into the fellow. He wasn't himself.

"Come, what's all this about?" I queried.

He looked straight at me. Simply, but smilingly, he said, "I've got religion." I was aghast. So that was it-last summer an alcoholic crackpot; now, I suspected, a little cracked about religion. He had that starry-eyed look. Yes, the old boy was on fire all right. But bless his heart, let him rant! Besides, my gin would last longer than his preaching.

But he did no ranting. In a matter of fact way he told how two men appeared in court, persuading the judge to suspend his commitment. They had told of a simple religious idea and a practical program of action. That was two months ago and the result was self-evident. It worked!

He had come to pass his experience along to me-if I cared to have it. I was shocked, but interested. Certainly I was interested. I had to be, for I was hopeless.

He talked for hours. Childhood memories rose before me. I could almost hear the sound of the preacher's voice as I sat, on still Sundays, way over there on the hillside; there was that proffered temperance pledge I never signed; my grandfather's good natured contempt of some church folk and their doings; his insistence that the spheres really had their music; but his denial of the preacher's right to tell him how he must listen; his fearlessness as he spoke of these things just before he died; these recollections welled up from the past. They made me swallow hard.

That war-time day in old Winchester Cathedral came back again. I had always believed in a power greater than myself. I had often pondered these things. I was not an atheist. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. My intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, even the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at work. Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence? I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation. But that was as far as I had gone.

With ministers, and the worlds religions, I parted right there. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory.

To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not to closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teaching-most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.

The wars which had been fought, the burnings and chicanery that religious dispute had facilitated, made me sick. I honestly doubted whether, on balance, the religions of mankind had done any good. Judging from what I had seen in Europe and since, the power of God in human affairs was negligible, the Brotherhood of Man a grim jest. If there was a Devil, he seemed the Boss of the Universal, and he certainly had me.

But my friend sat before me, and he made the point blank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself. His human will had failed. Doctors had pronounced him incurable. Society was about to lock him up. Like myself, he had admitted complete defeat. Then he had, in effect, been raised from the dead, suddenly taken from the scrap heap to a level of life better than the best he had ever known!
Had this power originated in him? Obviously it had not. There had been no more power in him than there was in me at that minute; and this was none at all.

That floored me. It began to look as though religious people were right after all. Here was something at work in a human heart which had done the impossible. My ideas about miracles were drastically revised right then…
"

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Re: AWOL

Post by Zip » Thu Sep 08, 2011 7:42 pm

Banned Loser wrote:I did read that....(that line doesnt matter)
Someone with such a weakness for anything, should call others weak on anything....
maybe you should understand the point, before you spout off anymore...
Image

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ArgusWest
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Location: Bethlehem, New Hampsha

Re: AWOL

Post by ArgusWest » Fri Sep 09, 2011 3:38 pm

Banned Loser wrote:I did read that....(that line doesnt matter)
Someone with such a weakness for anything, should call others weak on anything....
maybe you should understand the point, before you spout off anymore...
If ya read it in the context it was presented you will see how fucked up I WAS.
Durin my active addiction everything I did was justified.
Thats the fucked up part.
The whole idea that you brought up makes sense.
But realize that is who i was.
Not who I am today....
Lovin Furthur.... But Phleeze.. BRING BACK THE DAWG!!!!!

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wheelman
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Re: AWOL

Post by wheelman » Sun Sep 11, 2011 1:10 pm

Fair Enough!

(we're all just a work in progress)
Well, they're goin ruin the air we breathe, Lord have mercy
They're gonna ruin us all, by and by
I'm telling all you beware, I don't think they really care, I think they just sit up there,

AND JUST GET HIGH!!!

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Randy
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Re: AWOL

Post by Randy » Thu Jan 05, 2012 11:12 pm

Banned Loser wrote:
ArgusWest wrote:18 some odd years ago I was introduced to the fellowships..
Between that introduction and now..
100+ admissions to detox..
4 residential programs.. 6 months, 1 year, 2-90 day..
5.5 years in prison.. Couplea months, a year, 18 months, 6months, etc..
All possesions, 1 BnE..
Lived the street junkie life for almost a decade..
Lost family respect, a wife, a grate career I loved, and most of all, myself..
I did the geographical cure and beat feet 300+ miles away..
Built a decent existance, job, car, grate gal, house, dog...
But then I showed up..
Almost 9 months ago I found myself again eatin outta garbage cans livin on the streets of Providence with a monster dope habit speckled with a cocaine binges..
Homeless, helpless, hopeless..
I was again locked up...
Tiny stay in the scheme of things, 90 days and mandated completion of a residential program..
But I honestly feel that I finally took step 1 when I was locked up..
Admittin that I was an addict/alcoholic, AND my life was unmanageable..
I couldnt live a life using drugs..
I started to meditate, pray if you will, nightly..
I felt that i was startin to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore me to sanity.
I was fucking nuts.. I proved that to myself ova an ova again..
Maybe these AA/NA guys know what they are talkin about..
Now step three was usually the downfall of my program..
My job if you told me about yer spirituality ( god forbid ya called it RELIGION ) was to tear holes in it an tell ya how weak you were for it.
But then I began to see it in a new light.
I had humbled myself enough ( step 2 ) to realize I cant do this alone.
So I began to ask for help, for guidance..
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
My god has no face, no name, jus a feeling.
I ask for help in the mornin, and I thank him at night..
I have been sober for 6months an 25 days as of today.
I goto meetins when I can, I speak when I need to.
My life is good today.
I respect people.
I think before I open my mouth.
I accept things I can do nothin about.
I change the things I can.
The obsession to use/drink has honestly been lifted from me.
Again, life is good...
But Im gettin to the point that I want to continue on this journey..
I believe I can be an even better person by continuing with the steps..
So here is weir I ask the question that started this ramble..
Does ne1 have experience with AWOLS..?
Im in northern NH and interested in joinin one..
Or better yet..
How do I find out where they even are...?

I really only was gonna ask a one sentence question.. :roll:

I shoulda started with " Im a grateful recovering addict/alcoholic.. My name is Rich.. "
YOU're gonna lecture someone on weakness???!!!
ARE YOU FUKIN' KIDDING ME!!
just because they have a different philosophy & they believe something that you dont :?:
You CLEARLY don't understand addiction Banned Loser
Bring back 2djinn!! I want my hetty moe. updates!

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